Sticks and Stones and Stares

A friend recently posted about a young disabled girl, and how she was being bullied at school. After a while, other parents of children with disabilities commented with their own experiences. As I was reading this conversation, I got to thinking about my own experiences with bullying and people's reactions to my disability.


The Worst of It:

It's happened incredibly rarely (thankfully), but I have been bullied. The worst of it happened when I was in elementary school, at about ten years old. A group of boys (one of whom had been a friend) kept picking on me for a few months and even cornered me on the playground. It stopped, due to parent and teacher intervention, but looking back, I really think it caused me to be less social with people for a while. One positive thing to come out of this was that a few years ago, the former friend reached out to me online, wanting to catch up on what we'd been doing since leaving high school.

Speaking of high school, it wasn't nearly as bad, but in hindsight I realise that I was picked on there as well. This one guy would occasionally talk down to me like I was slow. Nothing awful, just stupid stuff I shrugged off. I think he did it because I talked to his girlfriend once. That part's actually kind of funny when I think about it now.


It's Not All Bad:

Some people's reaction to me have been pretty funny. I started shaving in my early teens, and had a beard by my senior years of high school.

Beard!

This coupled with my short stature, got some interesting reactions. I was going for a walk one day, when I passed a little boy and his mother. As I passed them, the boy stared at me. I couple seconds later, I heard him say to his mother, "Mommy, mommy, that little boy has a beard!" I almost burst out laughing. My parents did too when I told them later.


Sharing My Experiences (and Learning From Them, Too):

A few years ago, I was asked to speak to some of the campers at Easter Seals Camp Merrywood. I had finished my presentation, and was taking questions. One camper asked me if I had ever been laughed at, specifically in college. The question was totally unexpected, and I had to pause for a couple seconds to think about it.

I told him two things. First, in my case it was the opposite. Classmates were actually interested in my disability, and a few people who had relatives or friends with disabilities took it as common ground. Second, I told him that if anyone at a college/university level is laughing because someone's disabled, they're the one with the serious problem.

I'm sure my response helped the camper out, but in a way it helped me out, too. The question, and my response, helped me remember the experiences I mentioned earlier and allowed me to get past them.


It Happens:

Bullying happens. People stare, and say rude things. It sucks, but it's the truth.  It happens to everyone. For people with disabilities it can be worse because, in some cases, they can't physically stand up to it.

The best courses of action, in my opinion are education and positivity. Talk to people about your disability first, so they understand you better. If that doesn't work, find people who can see past the disability and just accept you.


Cheers!